Hi my son is dyslexic and I also feel it has been a constant battle. He has just received his gcse results and they are it as good as we had wished for but he has still done really well considering memory problems etc. We are so proud of him but nonetheless we are sitting here waiting to see the head of sixth form as he has not met the specified requirements and I am exhausted and feel that this battle will never end. Despite his hard work he is considered a failure because he has not achieved the very high marks the sixth form required. I don't know what to do next, if he is not given a place and I spend all my time desperately trying to boost his confidence as he feels very upset.
On 27th August 2015 at 12:44, Dyslexia Assist in reply to Kate wrote:
Kate, Your son has done so well and is lucky to have you supporting him. There are some useful resources in the parents section of this website that might help you prepare for your meeting with the college. The face book group Dyslexia Support UK also has lots of parents going through similar problems. It is a closed group with many parents and professionals that can offer advice as and when you need it. The Codpast is a forum for dyslexic students and adults that also might be helpful, it has articles that will help boost confidence. Hoping that your start of term goes well.
Valerie and Lisa
I'd like to share my experience also as I really think it makes a difference to other parents fighting for the support their children need.
Trust your instincts ...... read more
Shared with Dyslexia Assist by Karen Feb 2017
I finally took him for a private Ed psych assessment has been diagnosed with dyslexia and mild add. Nothing picked up at primary except a reluctance to read. The thing is my son can read however we now know he cannot comprehend what he reads. High school I was bombarded with behavioral emails -disorganized-not achieving his target A grades. Constant criticism which I then relayed this message about underachieving - not being motivated - I put it down to difficult teenager and in my heart was thinking he had add. He went off the rails from 14 onwards. It has been a struggle. I knew if I didn't write up his revision no tes for gcse he would fail - his words were I can't be bothered - I sat and read those notes to him. He achieved his A,b,c grades. School still insisted it was behavior problem and he could stay on and do A levels however if he carried on as before he wouldn't make it and he didn't. He had a terrible attitude. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Moving forward - we now have a diagnosis from an Ed psych. I'm reeling in guilt and thinking how the hec did I not pick this up - how couldn't I see it - why didn't the educators at school see it - now he has switched off to education. I am now sending him privately to a psychologist to try and undo all the negative feedback from me and the school to try and engage him in education again -So baby steps forward. This is a work in progress.
Success for Dyslexic Family After a Decade-long Battle for Education ....read more
(Samantha, Maxwel Gillet solicitors September 2015)
All the people I've mentioned are super hard working putting in a 100% into work, home, school. We all have written documents stating needs, yet the basics overlooked by others, having quiet areas to work, recognition of memory difficulties! I'm constantly have repeat information to schools and employers for reasonable adjustments, I'm highly educated and have worked extremely hard, I can not believe twenty years on I'm still having to fight for adjustments for me and my children. Hopefully there will be a time, when I don't have ask and the world is just accessible for the neuro diverse!
Dyslexia from a mother’s perspective, her daughter designed a dyslexia tool kit app .... read more
(Rafza Nehaul to Dyslexia Assist Nov 2016)
I was blessed to be hit with a double troubble being both Dyslexic and ADD. God does love me :)) ( have corrected normal typo's but no spelling, grammor or things spelled right to not be caught by spell check and words out of context)
As kids, I realize we all went through tough times. But being a grade school child and realizing you can not read, write and spell like all of your friends. First off, shame on our school system to but kids that you know have normal or above normal intelect and put in classes for the slow. I realize there are children out there who do need that and have my deepest empathy. Second, is your self estem takes a irreversible hit. The self dought is always there. How you feel about yourself and abilities exsists what seems forever. It was only when I exepted the fact I really do have what is labled as a disability, I think its just more of a struggle because of the positive things that come out of it. The worst is knowing your intelect is there, you can know a word when you hear it, know the definision of it, have a better vocabulary than most of your peers but have a dficult time spelling it or reading it out loud. I think the dificulty still exists while reading to your self but you are safe in your oun head to take time to sound it out with out being judged.
Nothing is ever gained by making a dyslexic child read out loud in class but that seemed to be the way my grade school teachers thought they could "crack the code". While I do believe practice works and has for me over the years, but it only works if given extra time a a feeling of security. The nightmare of 7th grade history still haunts me. Everyday through the year we had to read out loud in a round robin. I learned nothing while the other kids were reading. I had to stragicely plan what paragraph I had to read. Than I would read it over and over in my head and the angsity would build. Now well into adult hood I can laugh at the rest of the classes reaction. A third would be laughing at me, another thirds annoyed and a third being the sympathetic smart nerds who were picked on as well and would try to help me.
Thank you to my dad for saving most of my school reports cards. Alot I have blocked out of my head not wanting to remember and hiding from myself and the world. Same things said about me, just year to year and different teachers. Said" she is way behind in every subject, has the ablity to bed a good student but doesn't try, she has difficulty read out loud and to herself, she cant stay in her seat, she talks to much to other kids, she doesn't pay attention, her handwriting is bad, she daydreams, she doesn't listen or follow directions, very dificulty with spelling... what a suprize..lol), and her multiplication and division are way behind the class". The good was" she always has a smile, she can color better than the rest,and is a great story teller". Wow, and some teachers never did not see the big elephant in the room, just work harder. Filling paperwork, after the letter N, I have to say it to my self were like Q would go. I still really do not know times tables. I have 2 and 10 down good and 5 after 5 x 5 , that's when having 10 fingers really helps! Example: 7 x 8 = ( 8 7's- 7+7= 14 x 2=28 28 28+28=56!!!!. It works. I can add and subtract in my head and on paper better than Rain-man. The rest, than you god for spell check, Google, Word, the Smart Phone and something I just found out about called Ghotit. These all are truly a gift to help feel and be normal.
Once again thank you dad for teaching me so many things outside of reading and writing. He taught me all about animals, history, the environment, georaphy, and so many other things and taking me so many places. It gave me the knowledge most people did not have and that was a confidence booster. You don't ever want me on your team for Scrabble but Trivial Pursuit, I got this one! Let this be the best advice to any parent who has a child with learning dificulties. Rather than pound in the reading, writing, spelling and math, focus on outside of the box learning. More visual, audio and hands on. Some parents may know that their child is going through for their own struggles, but pacience and time mean the world! I was blessed both my daughters did not have any difficulties. My younger daughter graduated with a above 4.0 and helps we alot when I have to do things for my job.
It took me many tears and years to love and except my self. To be able to take praise from my peers when they tell me how great I am at certain things. To actualy tell people I'm dyslexic just steming from scars of rejection. I excell at coming up with creative solutions. I'm great at talking through problems. I'm great at marketing and sales. I have a true sence of love, patience and empathy for all other. I can always come up with a way to improve thing or make them more efecient. I'm a great cook and can make a whole meal out of what others would say"there is nothing here to eat". I pay extra attention when people talk, what they are saying and especialy to their name, which in business is a huge impressor. These are all dirived from basic survival skills I had to develope to make it out in the sometimes hard world. I have been blessed with so much that I love who I am, my children love me and my family and friends. I would not change a thing!! :))))
How and when to tell a child they are dyslexic..... read more
(Alice, dyslexia teacher, assessor founder of dyselexiclogic.com 10th August 2015)
A specialist dyslexia teacher and assessor talks about labels in education … read more
(Emma from Neurodiverse learning June 2015)
To get my severely dyslexic daughter the right support in her education has been a massive learning curve, and has left me at breaking point on several occasions... read more
(Julie’s blog pages at familyvine.me April 2015)
she was really struggling I myself have dyslexia and have done really well but it was hard to get were I got and never did any I school say it was dyslexia it was always u are lazy and I did not want this for my daughter I wanted her tiger the support she needed and I got in touch with dyslexia Liverpool and this has really changed my daughter life and her confidence the teachers are amazing long may it continue
Email to my son's teacher with the subject line, "Re: Homework tears, mine, not Peter's." .....read more
(Kathy April 2015)
What happened when my daughter's teacher called her a 'special ed ' kid .... read more
(Pam at Understood.com Nov 2014)
Dyslexia Assist makes the press for Dyslexia awareness week 2014 'Kids shouldn't have to struggle' .... read more
(Val and Lisa Dyslexia Assist Nov 2014)
In year 4 at primary I remember his teacher preaching to me. "Your son is not dyslexic, he is just naughty and lazy!" Oh how I would love to go and see her having now paid for a full assessment at the begining of year 10 to let her know the result: as SEVERLY dyslexic!
It is still an ongoing battle to make sure he gets the access arrangements he is entitled to as he takes his GCSE exams this year, to the point that he is learning to tell the teachers himself when he doesn't! Keep fighting as my son now knows he is not stupid and will go into his next stage of education confident in his ability and with the grades he has the ability to achieve.
For the last few years I have watched Jacob become more and more frustrated... read more
(Alison, Gareth and Jacob at Young Dysexics Nov 2014)
A doctor and mum of a dyslexic son and their dyslexia journey .... read more
School was very difficult as in the late 40's there was no such thing as dyslexia. I knew I had a problem, my head was full of good ideas but because of my spelling I could not use them, also my memory was terrible so I struggled to keep up but managed to hide a lot of it.
When in about 2003 I attended a computer class for adult learners I had to do a test to see the best way to be taught - the tutor thought I might have dyslexia so I then had a full
assesment (as I was at an adult learning centre I did not have to pay for this) The feeling of relief at last knowing has helped me a lot and as you get older you find many ways to get around the things you find difficult.
I now realise that dyslexia can be passed on as some of grandchildren are dyslexic in different ways, they think it is great to have a granny who understands.
One child never picked up a pen, was the last to bring home a reading book from school and sat and cried or walked out of the class room when asked to write down his weekend ' news' on a Monday morning at primary school. One managed well until she was 7 and had no problem with reading and actually enjoyed it so much she was quite a prolific reader. However she did not achieve in class work as the teachers expected from class discussion and input and it was suggested that she may have a learning difficulty. She was given some support at school but managed well herself by working hard and not giving up, an assesment as a teenager gave her extra time for her exams. One managed well and still does but felt that something was wrong compared to her friends as she moved through senior school. With the family history we went straight for an assessment; it showed she could have extra time in her exams because of a processing difficulty. Comments from lay people who think as a parent I am looking for an excuse for why my kids were not achieving as well as they knew they could at school make me very upset as for each child the severity, nature and help they needed has been different, they have all gone on do well at school, because of knowing their weaknesses and confonting them, often better than most of their peers. There is also one child who is not dylexic for sure.
I disengaged because all the focus turned into working on my weak areas. Constantly getting told that if I couldn't keep up with the other children then I would not get anywhere. As if I wasn't already aware that the children around me were miles ahead of me. I felt like a dunce all the way through school. I know this isn't what you want to hear but bear with me because it is not all bad!
When I had kids I vowed that they would not go through the HELL that I did with school. Nowadays I tell people that all my 11 years of compulsory education did for me was shatter my self-esteem as everyone constantly placed limitations on my potential.
It didn't need to be like that and you CAN change things for your daughter! Now I'm not saying 'dont' teach her to read and write' but what actually worked with my children was teaching them a passion for stories!Encourage her to do the things she loves as a reward for getting the hard stuff over and done with. Acknowledge that it is hard for her as she will be more aware of this than anyone and then take the pressure off! Tell her about all the people who struggled at school because they found reading and writing so hard but who went on to achieve greatness in their fields. If you are not aware of them the BDA has a good link on Famous Dyslexics which will make her feel less alone, less different, and less worthless.
I am 46 now and I still have those emotions of low self worth and anger when I have to write a cheque and someone is looking at me... I get it wrong, sometimes up to three times, and I just want to curl up in a ball and hide or punch the first person who says anything to me! It is not easy when your brain is wired differently but reassure your daughter that just because she's wired differently to most people, she is going to change the world with her talents!
Stephie’s Top Tips for Working with Dyslexia... click here to read her college to career story.
1. Make lots of lists
2. Have a timetable, write all the jobs you need to do down, colour code it and time manage yourself
3. Make people repeat something as many times as you need to understand it.
4. Don’t be afraid of being you
5. Put in place coping mechanisms, whether this is asking for help, or training yourself not to move too fast. (I am crazy clumsy. I move too fast sometimes and it cause me to drop and bump into things. Slow down!)
6. Train your mind to rationalise and work through problems slowly. Break the problem down and go from step to step.
7. Read! Find books that you really enjoy reading and give it a go, it really helps with spelling and writing.
8. Find the thing you’re good at and stick with it.
9. Who actually cares if you don't know your left and rights?
Something to share?: